2/14/16 from the day after my 2nd sitting with Ayahuasca. A journal entry.
Everything is different. That’s not a hyperbole. I am a wholly different man than I was yesterday. I feel it on an atomic level.
This is the third year (season?) since I moved to Costa Rica. Not sure exactly how that idea got in my head, but once it did, I had to go. And once I went, I had to stay. So much more to write on that story…. soon. Last night is absolutely at the core of why I felt the calling to relocate here. I took the sacred medicine ayahuasca and it has changed me. Physically, mentally, spiritually I can feel significant changes. From the second I took the cup and drank it, I felt it. It moved through my system, scanning it, feeling for the weakness, sickness, strength. I couldn’t help but picture in my mind’s eye, broken DNA strands being made whole, linked and activated. My whole body became a live wire. I could hardly sit still. I wanted to run and jump across the land, to sing and shout.
And the purge, while not extensive when it came, it released from my system something otherworldly. It wasn’t just physical, it was a spiritual purge transmuted. Upon returning to the temple, the mental journey really began. Visually it was remarkable—swirling colors in organic fractals, gemstone patterns, patterns wholly new breaking from the tiniest point within other patterns. And the message? Life! Life! Life! Love! Love! Love!
I began to think about the people in my life. My parents, friends, lovers. Individually I could feel the fear and doubt they were experiencing and I visualized wrapping myself around them and loving them and having all of the worry and negative power begin to release. Within myself I began to embrace the power that I have (we all have!) as a creator, manifestor, healer. I can look people straight in the eye, stand up tall and be exactly who I am no matter where on the path they may be. I need not fear their judgement or condemnation or fall into the sway of their manipulation. I can grow my aura and hold so much more space! I can stop shooting myself in the foot professionally, because my profession is my calling—who I am! I can let go of my fear of success and all of the self sabotage that enable it. But I need to let go of all the different ways I I poison myself and dampen my natural—beautiful and resonant—vibrations.
I thought a lot about what I put into my system and what my natural state should be. Cigarettes, alcohol, caffeine, meat even, cocaine, marijuana (which seemed more of a mental incapacitated rather than a physical poison). All of those things became absolutely ridiculous to me. Death! Death! Death! The energy it takes to recover from these things is completely wasted energy!! (This from someone who has boasted about his capacity to heal himself after each party.) What if I was whole to begin with? What if all of that energy was directed toward constructive and creative pursuits? How much more I could accomplish! How many more people could I reach! How clearer and more resonant would my message be!!
This was my second experience with ayahuasca. My first was uncomfortable. In hindsight I see it as paving the way for this experience. Familiarizing my body to the medicine, grounding and healing it. Both times I’ve been fortunate enough to be a part of amazing, calm and loving groups administered to by incredible shaman. Last night was way more my style. Jim and Trish sang all throughout. Beautiful voices, harmonies, songs—they were ancient and modern yet blended perfectly. My voice joined in occasionally but was curious, like a child learning to walk or someone healing from an injury that isn’t ready for full participation. Being new to the medicine, there’s so much my physical, mental and spiritual bodies need to re-learn and a lot of healing that still needs to occur. It’s amazing how music is an integral part of the healing process. And Jim’s voice! I could hear thousands of years of ceremony knitting a protective, healing, joyous cover around us. The sense of community and the power available right there within our community to live and THRIVE was overwhelming. Making me giddy and laughing out loud!
I’ve heard people (who’ve been using the medicine for a while) talk about the integration process after and how important that part is. I believe them. What I’ve been able to write today doesn’t even scratch the surface of everything that took place in me last night (and we go again tonight!) Major changes are afoot. Pachamama give me the strength to fully integrate the lessons I’ve learned and continue to make this body a whole vessel filled to overflowing with LIGHT! Aho.
Life in, life out!
Drew LaPlante is a modern-day troubadour, plant-powered person y amante de la gente. He has roots on an island in Lake Erie and the Pacific coast of Costa Rica. A founder of Gnosis Journey Costa Rica, he is an outspoken proponent of the legalization and responsible use of entheogenic substances. For more EntheoChronicles, music and media visit www.drewlaplante.com.